I was so excited last night to check my email before I went to sleep last night and saw that my favorite fake lawyer of all-time, Skunk Moon, was back. I've decided I like him more than even Perry Mason and Jack McCoy simply because as he's tried to scam me, he's insulted me at every step.
Maybe that's a bit delusional on my part, but it's made me laugh.
For those who don't follow my ramblings regularly, I first met Skunk Moon, in the proverbial sense of course, when Mrs. Supini Thrunkul suggested I contact him to help receive millions of dollars in a dormant Chinese bank account left by my long-lost,never-known and genealogically-unproven relative, Dr. Dietrich Schrager.
I played along, vowing never to lie and never to open any attachments sent through email by people I've never met. That drew the ire of Skunk Moon, who shows up in no lawyer directory by the way that I can find on line. Seriously, Google "Skunk Moon" and the first thing you get are pictures of skunks at night.
Further, I went to this website where you can find the registrant behind any website (http://www.whois.com/whois/skunkmoonlawfirm.com) and found out that the "firm's" website was created in October by a tech company out of New York, not China, but I digress.
Anyhow, when I wrote him that I was not particularly good on the computer and could not open the first attachment he sent me, he responded, "How can you possibly sign our Power of Attorney and other relevant document that will be sent through attached files?Contact someone to guide you on how do download files.This is ridiculous."
So, I apologized to "Barrister Moon" and asked if he could copy and paste the power of attorney into an email.
His response was awesome, purely spectacular and made me nearly spit out my morning coffee. "You do not need to be good on the computer to open an pdf attached file," he wrote me. "Stop talking like a fool."
Yes, Skunk Moon called me a fool. Growing up in the 1970's and 1980's, I immediately hearkened back to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_irUw5PfHM
Anyhow, I didn't respond to Skunk Moon after that, but yesterday, out of the blue, he sent me another note about Dr. Dietrich Schrager. Sadly, he's not mocking me or insulting me as that's good comedy, but I'll write him with some line about how I've been told not to give out personal information on the computer and I'm sure he'll get after me again.
I present it to you for your enjoyment. If you have an email you want to warn your neighbors about, send it to me: mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org and then, just hit delete.
From: SKUNK MOON LAW FIRM [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 22, 2014 7:03 PM
To: Adam Schrager
Subject: Re: enclosed attached details
RE: RECOVERY OF THE SUM OF $47, 370, 000, 00 FROM TIA YAU BANK IN FAVOUR OF. Mr. Adam Schrager
Sequel to the email we received that we act on your behalf to recover the above sum from tia yau Bank due to your deceased relation Dr Dietrich Schrager, who died in China several years ago to whom you are next-of-kin, we have agreed to represent you and to recover the said sum for you.
However, the following requirements are conditions precedent to enable us recover the said sum:
i. Execution of a power of Attorney and or letter of authority in favour of our firm authorizing us to act on your behalf to recover the said sum.
ii. Upon your authority in paragraph (i) above, we will obtain a letter of Administration in your name as the next-of-kin to the deceased from the probate Registry upon application. To obtain the letter of Administration the following are also needed:
A, Your full names and address
B, Your date of birth
C, Your occupation
D, Your account particulars where the sum will be paid into
E, Passport photograph
F, Full names of the deceased
G, Bank particulars of where the money is domiciled
H, Death certificate of the deceased
I, Date and place of death
J, Cause of death
K, Placement of notice and caveat for application of letter of
L, The sum of $200 for processing of letter of
Administration from the Probate Registry;
M, The sum of $200 for notice and placement Of Caveat
N, The sum of $200 for execution of power of Attorney
O, The sum of $150 to secure a death certificate for the deceased
(If none has been issued)
P, Application for payment to tia yau bank attaching all
Meanwhile, our professional fees shall be 3% of the total sum to be recovered. Payment can be made upon final recovery.
Kindly note that items K, and P, will be provided by our firm.
While we appreciate you for the privilege of representing you, we pledge our readiness to promptly recover the said sum on your behalf.
Please accept the renewed assurances of our highest professional.
China Attorneys, Patent and Trademark Agents.
Practice area include banking, finance, litigation, intellectual
property, information technology, labor, and mergers and acquisitions.
Suite 906, Office Tower C1, Oriental Plaza, Beijing 100738, P. R. China
TEL: + 861 0573 29364
Fax: + 861 0573 29327